didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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