You're my little dorito
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
