I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We are all done wearing pants today
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
