don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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