I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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