I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
