dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize