she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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