My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
