yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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