Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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