I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I smell stomach acid.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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