That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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