I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
