her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
