I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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