Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
