Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
