they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
