i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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