so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
