yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We are all done wearing pants today
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
