I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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