Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
