Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
