Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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