ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
