Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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