Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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