turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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