I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
