What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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