I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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