The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
