Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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