There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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