reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
love makes seman taste better
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
