My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
