I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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