Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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