How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
