Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize