The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
