I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
