he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
