You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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