eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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