so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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