maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
