my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
