Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
