i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
