I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize