I'm jealous of your bromance
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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