Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
