talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize