she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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