fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
