I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
