Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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