Me. At least after what I've been through.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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