Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
