peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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