I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i think im in europe. pls send help
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
