I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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