You really coming over, don't trick.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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