69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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