His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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