Barsexuality is the new black.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
