Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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