remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
