from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
