Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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