your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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