is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
