apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
