I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
