i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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