Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
