Slut skills are useful in every country.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize